Some couples make their divorce or resolving their child custody arrangement easier by bypassing the courts and going to mediation. This method of resolving your family dispute may lessen the emotional strain of ending your marriage or handling an issue regarding your children. But depending on your circumstances, mediation may not be your best option.
Since mediation requires you to work out matters with your spouse, the two of you should share enough respect and good will to be able to discuss matters. If there is too much acrimony, mediation may not work out for you. Yahoo Life explains some other issues that might make you think twice about mediation.
Drug and alcohol abuse
Some marriages have an unhappy end because one of the spouses has a drinking or drug problem. A spouse still locked in substance abuse may not be a fit mediation partner. Since drugs and alcohol can impair concentration and reasoning ability, your spouse may be in no condition to think logically when it comes to negotiation.
Mental health disorders
Some people have mental disorders that make it impossible to think clearly. Perhaps your spouse has a mental disorder but takes medicine to keep it under control. Mediation might still work out in this situation. However, if your spouse has an unaddressed mental problem such as bipolar disorder that produces manic highs and lows, mediation is unlikely to work out.
If a spouse has engaged in domestic violence, mediation may be completely off the table, especially if a restraining order is in place. Some spouses still make it work by using the mediator as an intermediary between them. However, you should never feel compelled to negotiate with someone who has been abusive towards you.
You might feel that mediation will consume less of your time than a court case. However, there is no guarantee you will save time by mediating your dispute. Mediation is like a journey to a goal. You have to devote time and effort to working out an agreement with your spouse. If you want a judge to impose a decision and resolve your case more quickly, mediation might not be your preferred choice.