Lavin & Parisi, Attorneys at Law

Plan carefully if you are getting remarried and have children

Photo of Karen Lavin

Getting remarried after you go through a divorce is a big step. You have to ensure that you are ready, but you also need to make sure that your children are too. There are several ways that you might be able to help them adjust to the big change that is coming. Here are a few things to consider:

Take your time as you develop your new relationship. Rushing too much can make the transition more difficult on your children. You must ensure that your kids have time to get to know the person you are planning on marrying. This can be a challenge, but it might be possible if you do things as a group.

You need to ensure that there isn't anything negative being said about your ex. If you do need to voice your frustrations to your new significant other, make sure that your children and others aren't around when you have this discussion. Besides being a negative experience for your children, badmouthing can also cause contentious feelings between all the adults involved.

Another consideration is that you have to make sure that you think about the logistics of getting remarried. This includes establishing house rules, but it also involves careful planning for the wedding. Make sure that your children will be able to be there and that you have someone to care for them while you are on your honeymoon.

You should also consider how finances might change after your marriage. Since many disagreements are over money, you and the person you are going to marry should decide ahead of time how expenses and other financial matters will be handled. A prenuptial agreement might be in order just to reduce the stress in this area.

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