Lavin & Parisi, Attorneys at Law

How do you know when it is the right time to file for divorce?

Photo of Karen Lavin

You may find yourself waiting for just the right time to do a lot of things in life. It could be waiting for the right time to ask for a raise or possibly when to take the training wheels off your child’s bike. But is there a right time to get a divorce?

One of the problems when contemplating divorce is continuing to have thoughts that things will get better. Many times, things do get better for people. However, the decision to get a divorce can linger with nothing really changing. You may not just be deciding if you should get a divorce, but when you should do it.

If you have successfully come to the decision to get a divorce, the new agony may come in the form of when you should file. Common roadblocks include the age of the children, problems at work or maybe you just purchased a house. If these types of issues are constantly prevalent, then is there a way to determine when you should file for divorce?

Are you in an abusive or toxic marriage?

If your marriage is causing you mental or physical pain, this is usually an indicator to end it quickly no matter what other situations you are dealing with.

Have you tried to save the marriage?

A lot of times questions about divorce happen because you are not working on the marriage. Addressing issues and even meeting with a marriage counselor may make the decision to stay in the marriage or proceed with a divorce much clearer.

Are the children stable?

If the children are currently going through a particularly rough time, such as trouble at school, breaking the law or taking drugs, you may want to consider waiting to see if things become more stable with them.

Are you and your spouse currently working?

Unless you and your spouse are constantly unemployed, consider filing for divorce once you both are employed.

Are there financial reasons holding you back?

Are you going through financial problems or heavy in debt? Do you have elderly parents that may pass soon and leave a substantial inheritance? Will this be a high-asset divorce and you are nervous about property distribution? These things do not need to hold you back from divorce, but you should speak to your attorney about your options.

Is there a legal reason to hold off on divorce?

Issues like alimony and child custody and/or support may have different legal ramifications based on where you live and how long you have been married. If you have children in their middle teens, waiting until they turn 18 may not only solve any child support issues but also custody fights.

You may never find the perfect time for your divorce, but if you believe you have made up your mind, once you look over your situation you may be able to find a time that you are comfortable with.

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