Lavin & Parisi, Attorneys at Law

Is staying married for the kids really in their best interests?

Photo of Karen Lavin

If you are considering divorce, there may be a multitude of factors that might influence your decisions. If you have kids, chances are, you probably consider them to be a top priority, and you might wonder how the end of a marriage will affect them.

No matter how you handle the situation, your kids may have trouble understanding or accepting the news of divorce, even if only temporarily. You and the other parent might wish to shield them from all harm, which could lead you to wonder if staying together for their sake could be the best option.

How an unhappy marriage could impact the kids

While this might be a decision with the best of intentions at heart, if your marriage is no longer functional, a similar concept could end up doing more harm than good. Some ways that staying married for the children could prove detrimental might include the following:

  • Presence of conflict: When attempting to stay married solely for the kids, the level of conflict between you and the other spouse may continue to rise as time passes. If your children witness constant disagreements or arguments, they may endure unnecessary suffering.
  • Feelings of rejection: Children can also pick up on the unhappiness of their parents, which could make them feel uneasy at home, or bring about feelings of rejection.
  • The blame game: Kids may have more difficulty grasping the situation, and they may feel responsible for the unhappiness of their parents, despite your attempts to shield them from your troubles.
  • Parental capability: A similar circumstance could also reduce a parent's eagerness to remain at the home, which can have an impact on his or her capability to meet the needs of the children.

While it can be difficult, especially at first, divorce may lead everyone involved into a better situation in time. However, the process can still be stressful and daunting, and with the potential gravity of the outcome of a divorce, seeking guidance could be in your best interests.

The process of divorce

When divorce is the next step, you may wish to focus a great deal of your efforts on reaching an acceptable parenting plan with the needs of your kids at the forefront. However, with numerous factors to consider, you could benefit from speaking with someone with extensive knowledge in Illinois state child custody laws for assistance. Obtaining advice before entering negotiations could help you gain a better understanding of how to pursue the most favorable outcome possible concerning the future of your kids.

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